My name is Pixel and I’ve lived with my pack ever since I was very small. There’s the boss, Charles Harry and Georgie. They’re all bigger than me but I reckon if they’d let me stand on my hind legs I’d be as tall as Georgie at least! They don’t like it though except when the boss fancies a dance around the kitchen.
I know they’re not dogs but we all get on really well as they do seem to know how to talk to me, and I understand them pretty well. The boss is in charge and everyone else comes and goes. They all tell me what to do sometimes and play with me and stroke me. I’m really happy here as I get regular walks and love and I know that the boss takes care of things. I never get enough to eat though!
In the mornings as soon as the boss stumbles into the kitchen we go out for a pee and a run around before breakfast. Whilst we’re out she always lets the chickens out. They are so flappy and exciting it makes me shake sometimes, trying to stop myself chasing them, especially when they squawk and run around right in front of me. The boss wouldn’t like it though and sometimes, if one gets too close and I start drooling, she’ll tell me to sit down and congratulate me when I do. That’s all right then. I can always chase a ball later and she likes me doing that. Usually she comes back from their pen holding some balls and the other day she dropped one and it opened up and smelled great. She seemed cross but I was delighted as she let me eat it! Since then I watch very closely when she carries balls, just in case.
She usually takes ages to get back to the house, when all I can think about is my breakfast. I wait for her at the door because that’s what she expects and then I get to eat at last! It’s good to know what I’m supposed to do. It makes me comfortable and gets me cuddles and rewards from everyone.
I usually have a sleep after that while she taps away at a table, sighing occasionally. I only have to move if she gets up and wants to walk where I’m lying and then I move out of the way because, after all, that’s good manners. Sometimes I try to cheer her up with a toy or ask her to play for a while. It works occasionally, except when she’s talking endlessly to that little flat box she holds. I don’t get it at all, it’s not as if there’s anyone there that I can smell. Still, humans seem to talk to themselves a lot and I’ve got used to it now.
The best part of the day is when we go out for the walk. My favourite one that we do a lot is when we run by the river and into the woods. There are so many smells that I get really excited. I leap into the river when I get hot and I just can’t resist chasing the things the boss throws in the water. I’ve realised that the sheep in the fields are not very interesting. They are very stupid and they panic when I get near; rushing off bleating when all I want to do is say hello and sniff them. What is fun is running straight through a whole load of them and they scatter in all directions. I got into trouble for doing that though so I’ve had to stop that game. She doesn’t mind me chasing the squirrels though. There’s one in the woods that I’m determined to catch one day. It watches me coming and shins up a tree when I’m nearly on it. I won’t give up ever and I can remember exactly where it lives. I once caught a rat which was trying to climb up the outside of our house so I know what I’m doing. The trouble is I can’t climb trees, although I do try.
After our walk I have a good sleep until the evening when the house fills up with smells and noise when everyone comes home. I always feel secure when the pack is together. After they’ve all eaten I get to have my dinner. I don’t really think it’s fair. They get to eat for ages and mine is gone in about 30 seconds. The boss often says I’m a pig when I’m eating but I’m a dog, so I haven’t a clue what she means.
When they light the fire I’m allowed to lie in front of it after eating, and life is good. What more could a dog ask for?